What is up with weight?

One of my jobs is in an office. With regular folk. When I say regular, I mean not the energy loving, chakra balancing, frequency listening, meditating, yoga-doing, nutrition-aware people that I've been around for the last six years. It's a change. When I started this cleanse over six weeks ago, I let my office mates know so they wouldn't ask me daily if I wanted partake in the eating out and office treats that often go hand in hand with office spaces. They sort of got it, I think. Their perspective, however, seems to come strongly from a place of weight. One person in particular still seems to think I'm on a diet I order to lose weight, and she'll still ask me if I want a slice of cake or a piece of pizza. I want to get mad about it, but I also understand she doesn't really get what I'm doing.

Weight, though, is a thing. It's a subject I'm sensitive to because I think of excess weight, particularly my own, as a symptom of other things. There are nutritional, emotional, societal, hormonal attachments being held there and it is a tangled web to unravel. I feel this cleanse is a huge thing for me in addressing some of these attachments. I also think that because weight is a symptom, the releasing of excess weight is a sign of moving toward success.

Before I began this cleanse, I was heavier than I've been in my life. That was not my motivator, though. It hasn't been a good motivator for me for a decade. When I try simply to lose weight, I yo yo a lot with my thoughts, foods, and ultimately my weight. There were other bodily things going on that felt unsafe for me and I wanted to move past them. That was my motivator. Still, I have released some weight-30 pounds as of now. Interestingly, the weight still fluctuates even when I feel steadfast. My emotions also fluctuate. There's nothing like releasing a few pounds to make one feel a boost of confidence, and nothing like wearing a swimsuit in a crowd to question the confidence again.

So, what am I saying here? Weight is a thing. It's a big thing, and it's in our faces all the time even if we don't watch the celebrity news or read gossip rags. I actually wonder, when it begins to significantly drop, what will come up for me. I'm disrupting my web of compensation and I don't know what is hidden underneath. I'm sure you'll hear about it, though.