Candida's personality

Earlier today I was imagining what Candida's personality is. I compared it to that friend you spend time with who always brings out your worst vices and sides of your personality that normally stay at bay but all come out at once when you spend time with that friend. And really, you spend time with them because you want to engage in those activities-you're not quite ready to let them go-but you hate that side of yourself.

Candida has an addictive personality.

Candida has low self esteem, or perhaps self loathing.

Candida loves engaging in all those things that make you feel like shit the next day.

Candida carries a dark cloak.

Candida is really fun, for a few minutes or hours. Then you don't want to see it again for a really long time, but inevitably when it calls you, you answer and agree to meet it.

Candida gives you terrible advice but in the moment the advice comes, it sounds perfectly reasonable in its extreme-ness.

Candida spirals out of control and takes those around it with it.

Candida is self-centered.

Candida is self-destructive.

If you cry and call candida, rather than listening, candida invites you to go out to get wasted and then spends the whole time out trying to find people to take home.

Candida sounds a lot like some of the people I spent time with a decade ago and wouldn't hang out with today. But interestingly, candida is still seductive.

This may seem silly or ridiculous, but these are the experiences I've had with some foods and drinks that promote this overgrowth. And the longer I'm on this cleanse, the more I recognize folks seduced by candida. I see people begin their day with a normal level of energy and then eat loads of sugar, crash, and wake up to get high on the sugar again. I see the same with wheat. Every person I know who's cleansed themselves, even for a short while, from these ingredients, gets cranky, moody, bitchy, achy and wants to go back. Usually they go back fairly quickly. It's often a secret too. We don't tell our other friends how much time we spent with candida. We don't talk about the sugary breakfast followed by the sugary coffee followed by the alcohol each and every night. We don't know they're hanging out with candida too behind our backs.

I have no judgement towards all of Candida's friends. I am just now getting the courage to say that I don't want to spend time with anyone like Candida.The side of me that wants vitality is getting stronger. The side of me that is genuinely not interested in waking up with headaches and mood swings is getting stronger than the part of me that wants instant short-lived gratification.

I am not out of the woods yet. I am eight weeks into my cleanse and I could certainly tighten things up a bit for better results. I do, however, have a much clearer sense of what is doing what to my body and my experience-what foods affect my mood, my pain levels, my energy levels and my overall sense of wellness. I'm keeping my radar up. I'm listening. I choosing me for right now. My emotions are growing up.